who told me I should own a blog?

I opened this page thinking that it was time. time to update the universe on the inner workings of my thoughts and trees.

Feels a little dangerous.

I’ve started to view my contributions to the internet through the lens of my future employer– because once again I find myself searching for worth in a world of capitalistic slavery. Needing to build a foundation of wealth for myself and my loved ones.

Why

can’t I just not like nice things?

I’m committing to my grammatical errors, please take this in mind as a creative decision and not one of ignorance, ineptitude, or laziness.

Every so often, I get an email reminding me that I purchased this tiny corner of ethereal, electronic real estate. and I dismiss it as unimportant. And every not so often, I actually visit my little home of ramblings and musings to find a what feels like a time capsule of my mind.

Who I was and who I am feel unfamiliar. the only commonality i find is my proclivity for sharing my thoughts as though anyone would read them and be moved in any way. Is it self-awareness or self-depreciative that I have come to that conclusion? insert shrug emoji here

I recently began removing people from my social media circles. I stopped ‘following’ but also, I began to remove people from my following. I want to be hidden, I am tired of performative living. As I’ve surveyed others, I’ve found that this practice is somewhat uncommon.

I used to crave the idea of capturing attention, now I wish for nothing but to remove myself from the false pretenses of influence. If I have influence, I hope it is very limited.

I don’t know how to wrap this up so I’m just going.

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